When we were kids, we never thought
of being the popular one. We just want to have a lot of friends to play with
and to talk too. Nothing more than that. I mean, kids. They don't care about
their face, their status, their appearance and basically, they rarely have any
problems to express to other kids but there will be one or two. Still, like
other kids will be mature enough to understand. As we are growing up, status
are important especially during our schooling time because those 'status'
define who we are during that time. Being the popular one is one of those
important status.
How I wish I'm still a kid where
i can be carefree and be an idiot without attracting any unwanted attention.
Now, all I'm worried is whether i will be popular among others. When I was in
primary school, i start to learn that there are kids who had a lot of friends
and kids who had a few. I wonder why. Shouldn't kids be mixing around easily
with each other? My guess was wrong. As i observed, the kids with tons of
friends are usually equipped with their high level of confidence, flawless
face, friendly and rich. Some of them even 'buy' their friends by buying them
foods, drinks and even toys. The ones that don't really have a big number of
friends are the ones that are socially awkward, nerds, reddish pimpled face,
round glasses and shy as a tortoise. HAHA! That describe me. I never once ever
think of being popular because of how i appear in front of everyone. When I was
11 years old, I start to undergo puberty. Yeeeaaaa I know, too young for a
male? well, not me. Sadly. So, i start to become absorbed with myself, meaning
i don't really mix with others Because I'm scared i will be tormented with
their mean jokes but as I was turning 12 years old, I've tried my best to mix
around with the popular kids but never really been accepted. Their standard are
too high!
Popularity, appearance and
fitness start to play it's important roll when we entered high school. Why is
that??? Well, because girls will start to notice guys and vice versa. That
'boyfriend-girlfriend' status is important during high school, to show that
you're good enough to be someone love partner and therefore, it does increase
someone's popularity. I studied at an all guy school and shows that even guys
are dying to be popular, good looking and to have 6 packs. Mostly to impress
the girls who studied just opposite of our school. They do anything! Mostly by
improving their looks by taking care of their face and getting those body
muscles bigger and bigger. As for me, well, my face was going through a rough
moment that time and I'm a natural skinny guy. So, getting those muscles are
twice harder than the bigger sized guy. Therefore, I just don't want to care.
Thing is, I never actually think about being popular until... my school CAMP!
So, i join this club whereby
every end of the year they will host a camp at our school. Few other school
will also join this camp. Now, in this camp, there this guy, good looking, plum
a bit, quite muscular, nice textured hair. I mean everything that a guy wants.
whole package. Well, almost. What's not so charming about this guy is the fact
he has such a big ego, thinking he's the best, most handsome bla bla bla...
Hahaha. Jealous much. Still, girls are head to toe over him! that's the thing I
reaaaalllllyyy don't get. Urgh! In this camp, we were divided into 8 groups. In
my group, there this girl i like. She's awesome. Pretty, smart, talented and on
top of that, know how to kick some ass! To compliment her some more, few more
other guys had crush on her and what's worse better quality than me.=.=
On the last night, there this
'prom dance' whereby the guys or the girls can dance with anyone. At first, I
don't really have the guts to ask the girl that i like to dance with me but a
good friend of mine encourage me. So, that's enough to give me the fuel I
needed to ask her. The instance i ask her, she just shook her head and look
away. OUCH!!!!!! dammmmnnnnn.. That feeling. I ended up just with sitting down
on the floor with a broken pride. soon after that, another guy came to her and
ask her for a dance. She immediately took his hands and snuggled on his chest.
For me to see that? well, not a great feeling. The worse part was when the song
finished and she came to me and offered a hug and said "I'm sorry".
THAT'S THE MOMENT WHERE I COMMIT MYSELF TO BE GOOD LOOKING, FIT AND POPULAR.
Till this day, i never really get
to be that guy who is so popular, fit and good looking. I mean, I've improved
but still room for improvement. I always doubted myself and think that i was
never good enough. Have you guys feel that way??? thinking you're never going
to be 'THAT' person that everyone admire and love to be their love partner? I
know that does sound chessy but that's a fact. I until today have a habit to
look at guy's pictures and tell myself "how I wish I was like
him".....
